Amy Winehouse - "They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said 'No, No, No!'" - Maybe you should reconsider.
ADHD - Fictitious disorder created in order to excuse excessively cuntish behaviour.
Alton Towers - 'Where the magic never ends', or so the advert says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30pm.
American Tourists - TOURIST: "I love your accent...ME: "Well I fucking hate yours, you whining shit. Now get out of my way, you're blocking the sun."
'At the end of the day' - I am fucked off up to my eyeballs with people who say this. I've heard MPs use it, Royalty use it. Celebrities use it. Every fucker uses it. AT THE END OF THE DAY IT IS NIGHT.
Bear Grylls - Not even a real bear, rubbish.
Brian Conley - "Let me entertain you"? I'm afraid the only way you could entertain me Brian, is if you killed yourself live on TV.
Blue Peter - You know the world is really going to pot when Blue Peter admit fixing a competition.
Boys in girls jeans - Just don't.
Cadburys Creme Eggs -"How Do You Eat Yours?" With my mouth, you nosy pricks.
Crisps - Get out my teeth, I ate you 4 hours ago.
Didier Drogba - Never has there been a more shining example of everything that is wrong with the modern footballer. I find it shambolic that such a joke of a man, who hasn't a shread of good sportsmanship can even be put on a pitch to entertain and inspire. Bought for the equivalent monetary value of his home country's Gross Domestic Product, paid more every two weeks than a heart surgeon will see in one year and with about as much use as scrotum with no testicals..but with a hugely similar apperance. The man is a fraud, a cheat, a liar, a frustrating sign of our ill motivated times, and above all an absolute, undeniable, twat.
Fat people in Macdonalds - I'll have big mac meal large with an extra double cheeseburger, extra large fires and 9 chicken nuggets. And to drink? Diet coke. Dont kid yourself.
(Cont..tomorrow.)
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