*cough*

Hahahaha, I have stumbled upon a programme called 'The Exit List' and it is literally hilarious. I have no idea how exactly you play but two grown men have just gone home with £0. What is it with these ridiculous men like those two pricks on The Bank Job? That was utterly 'mezzin in itself. Greedy people make me giggle.

Had my ultra sound last week, which went well as I have zero issues and life is fab again. I do find it odd that the man performing the ultrasound wishes to engage in small talk with me, it is one of lifes unnecessary moments which this should NEVER occur. I don't know if you wondered Mr. Ultrasound but I don't wish to discuss the intricate details of my day to day life, nor I suspect do you want to hear about it so how about you shut the hell up?

No sooner do I find out I don't have gall stones or any other kind of illness do I develop a really shitty dry cough and a sinus infection :( I do apologise for any lost soul who has found this page by mistake and for some odd reason started reading only to find out it is the blog of a crazy miserable woman. I assure you I am not actually miserable (but I might be crazy) in fact this weekend I have some fab stuff planned. (If you like this sort of thing...) Friday night Jay and I will be indulging in a little home made pizza action! It was literally the most amazing thing the first time round. Saturday I am going to a party - Wendy's birthday party and it's set to be fun cos Tezza is going and I love Tezza! :o) Woo!

It's time to attempt sleep because I have an awfully dry throat and seem to need a drink every 5 minutes :o(

Thinking of you Nanny Ruby, xoxo

And begin...

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

This year is already amazing. I might have been the last one to know but one of my best friends has announced she is expecting a teeny baby! (As opposed to a miniature Hulk) Yay! Many congratulations to Charis & Dan, so pleased for them! I just grew up about 5 years in the space of 5 minutes, that starts happening when your close friends start having babies. Although that happened when they got married tbh. *freak out* It's such fab news though! Beyond excited for them!

New Year was pretty much 'mezzin. Jay and I stayed in round Abby and Ads, played games, drank shots of what tasted like nail varnish remover (always fun, or not), and danced around the living room to Cindy Lauper 'Girls just wanna have fun'. Not forgetting the Steak and Wedges we had for dinner, yum!

I had some very painful stomach issue a few weeks back. For a split second I thought I was dying then calmly realized I was not, it just hurt like HELL. What I would imagine hell to be like anyhow. It was kind underneath my ribs in the middle to the side (that is such a place...) I hardly slept one night and then I couldn't breathe properly and got myself into a right state. Anyway the doctor gave me a 'anti acid' tablet which did not do much to help. After a few days the pain died down and eventually went. The doctor was kind enough to send me for an ultrasound SIX WEEKS AFTER I ACTUALLY WENT TO THE DOCTORS. Quite frankly they're lucky i'm not dead. I would imagine that sort of thing is kind of an emergency or not considering I would be dead, no rush. So on 17th Jan I am going for my ultrasound. In the space of 4 months 2 people have asked me if i'm 'having a baby' so i'm half expecting them to find a deceased fetus. (Sorry that is gross.) I am actually not, and if they do I will go utter mental because for the last 10 months I have been harboring a Contraceptive Implant. Which next week I am getting removed, though they are making it sound like some sort of major surgical procedure which I am NOT happy about. When I walked into the clinic 10 months ago and decided to have the implant they laid me down on a bed, shoved a needle in my arm and slipped it in - but to have it out is apparently not as easy. Nobody told me this when I had it in! Pfft. I am not looking forward to that darn needle again, bloody hurt last time :( To top it off I am giving blood on Tuesday afternoon! There's my good deed for the day!

Back to the good stuff - Christmas was so great. I had dinner round Jay's parents house with Jay, Tina, Keith, Zoey, Gemma, Pete and Karen. It was awesome! The dinner was fab and we did quiz games and I even fit in a little snooze! :) We went to Damo's in the eve and I saw the two cutest girls ever - my beautiful nieces :) They're growing so much and both can sit up pretty well now. I baby sat for Molly Mo on 23rd Dec and she was fab! Jay and I played with her for a while, she loves grabbing stuff and looking at herself in the mirror! I fed her a bottle, and put her to bed and we didn't hear a peep out of her all night :) In my world I would hope all children are like this, sadly I do not think it is the case. Boo.

Swimming tomorrow with Victor, Friday night in with Jayboy watching Never Let Me Go & American Horror Story. I MIGHT let him get me to watch Boardwalk Empire although I have heard mixed reviews. Saturday night, with a quick change of my plans I am going to see Charis with the girls. Woohoo!

Millie Dog is here and I love it, she hasn't stayed here for ages! :) Hasn't tried to creep up to my room yet, good doggy! :)

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN GOING FOR ALMOST 5 YEARS! Crazy.

It's all about tonight!

OH MY GOD. I am going to explode. I have been refraining from venting immensely on this here blog so's not to sound like a total angry little elf but i'm afraid I can no longer hold it in.

Never have I ever been around somebody so nosey! The bloody nose is the size of the grand canyon and really they are blameless because it just sticks itself in where it's not wanted. I can handle it, but when it's there 5 days out of 7 it REALLY BEGINS TO GRATE.

I could write more. Believe me I could write reams and reams about how mind numbing annoying it is to be subjected to this day in and day out. Alas, I feel it's not good for my positive energy or anybody else's for that matter.

Let's move on to a friendlier and more welcome note - tonight I am off to the mooooovies. Unfortunately I am so poor that I actually can't afford to have nandos before hand :o( (Boo!) however, I am going to watch Breaking Dawn (With Dawn, ha!) Okay not funny...still it is said to be a good movie, although let's be honest; sexy on the sexy scale is blowing the roof off so who cares if it's not any good!?

Tomorrow I am off round to Tina & Keith's for a curry, always welcome! Friday cinema could be on the cards again but I think it will more than likely be Sunday instead! 50/50 - Been waiting for this to come out for aaaaaages!

4 weeks on Sunday until Christmas. Help :/

It's Chriiiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaas! (Almost)

I urge anybody reading this to read THIS http://wiseall.wordpress.com instead. It's fucking phenomenal and P Wise is one of the funniest, most creative writers I know AND he actually does it for a living! (Sort of) I however just wallow in my own garbage (not actual garbage, that would be gross) and just write anything. Like I said to my Mother, who thinks i'm quite good (she doesn't read much)- I just write, I don't re-read or think much before I write. I just write and write. Quite often when I don't feel like writing I just start writing and it just takes me away. A bit like now...

I just got an email from Vue Cinema. "Dear Vue Member" How impersonal. How am I meant to strike up a business deal with you when you address me in such a way? Saying that, I am going to Orange Wednesday next week so their approach wasn't totally flawed. Dammit.

Anyway, I feel like this day is dragging but strangely the week itself has gone quite fast - it's only bloody Friday tomorrow! I'm going to The Farmhouse, but it has to be said I am not wearing a party dress to a pub which is going to be full of drunks and mostly trash singing Karaoke. Should be a great laugh though! Get a few drinks down me and I might pick up a mic! (Not likely)

Tonight is a night in with the best boy I know. Catching up on the second episode of "American Horror Story" which after the 1st Episode has got me hooked! Loving it! It's all a bit strange and a teensy be scary at times but what would you expect from a programme with 'Horror Story' in the title? Exactly. Fishcakes and Wedges, a meal fit for a king. I'll take it! 11:39 - 20 minutes until I can go to lunch and get outta this joint, could go now but let's be honest it's a better deal to get back later, less time until home time then!

I can't believe I have written all this garbage (again not actual garbage, gross) and i've forgotten to document my first experience babysitting a 5 month old! Saturday night I looked after the one and only Summer Shawyer. She has a routine, bed by 7pm and usually wakes up around midnight or just after. Just my luck, Damo & Cags went out at 8pm, Sumsy woke up at 8:20! Bless her little rosy cheeks, she cried and cried. Poor little poppet was hungry, restless and no amount of jigging and bouncing could calm her for more than 2 precious minutes! Her poor little face, all red and her eyes weary. If only she liked Formula :o) Alas, she is not fond of the stuff so Cagsy had to return from the pub to feed poor Sums, and then she went back to sleep and didn't wake for the rest of the night! Phewph! A bit of a ordeal, but I don't think I did tooooo badly! Auntie Ems :o) Woo!

I didn't think it was possible to have so much love for two little ladies. They are still the best things since the ever famous sliced bread. Can't wait for Christmas! Jingle Bells Jingle Bells....

Pow, right in the kisser.

I recently went to a party where manya mental conversations were had regarding afterlife, space, 'ying & yang' and to be honest i'm more of a living in the real world kind of girl. However, the past couple of days have seen me go into a kind of subconscious trance where I don't know what is real and what's not.

I have come to the conclusion that I will never be happy, at least not in this life. I just have to make the best with what i've got. <---- Did I seriously just write this? One part of me thinks that nobody is ever 100% happy, people are just lucky. The other half thinks nobody should ever have to settle for being 'okay'. Which is right? And where is the middle ground? Is there a middle ground?

I love a romantic gesture, but is there actually a single man out there who does things because they love someone, not because they want something? By 'something' I mean gratitude or to feel good about themselves. I am turning into a cynical old woman and as a result I don't think there are any selfless good deeds.

God I need to get a life! Be a bit more care-free, I say this too often and I always revert to the same uptight crazy person who worries too much. Who on earth would want to be with someone like that? How am I meant to change? Should I change? It always ends up the same, nice on the outside, not so nice on the inside. So it'll probably work out in the future that I have lots of short term friends but not very many long term friends. It will also mean I will end up a lonely old spinster with a house full of cats. I also have a huge issue admitting i'm wrong, if anyone ever reads this I could be in trouble, ha! In all seriousness, it's things like that, that ruin my relationships with people and it absolutely kills me :(

I've got a boy who tells me he loves me, leaves me notes under my pillow and cuddles me on the sofa. That's all I need right? I just wish he'd go that extra mile. Sometimes I feel like i'm putting 200% in and getting 2% back. Should relationships even be like this? Is every relationship like this? Should relationships be effortless or do they need work? I think the latter, but maybe not night shifts. I should really stop being such a mentalist and get on with the here and now.

London is just around the corner and it will be a lovely weekend away :o) To be honest, for me it's more of the holiday blues which is getting me a little down. Florida feels like it never even happened. Hmph.

Bring on the next holiday!

Flabbergasted

HOLY FUCK,

how on earth did I forget to mention that Florida was awesome!?

This slipped my mind when I went to New York last year too, there must be something wrong with me!?

Anyway, it was fanfreakintastic. Completely out of this world, everything is massive (including the people).

I will elaborate more on this at a more convenient time. As it is, i've got to go to Asda to 'do a shop' or whatever one says. Waaaaaay fun!

Yellow Diamonds, in the light.

Went a bit out of my mind yesterday, had a small panic when I realised I was feeling very frustrated about the current 'stand still' of my relationship. I'm ready for the next step people, and talking about it and taking no action is reeeeeally frustrating and making me think all kinds of crazy things.

Jayboy knows how I feel, I just need him to talk to me a bit more, you know? You don't know, you're not even anyone, you're thin air. New all time low; speaking to thin air.

I just wanna start building a life and living something new rather than the same old day in, day out gaggle that is currently going on. I'm not into rushing, but I am into security. Imagine if this went as tits up as the last time I really opened my heart up, not sure I could take it to be honest!? He's right though, I do worry too much. Let's just all take a chill pill and look forward to the next 6 months. Got a weekend away in London to look forward to, along with Christmas shopping and some lunch. Gotta love lunch.

On a completely separate a sad note - Great Uncle Bill passed away on Saturday. At the grand age of 94, he was a legend. I hadn't seen him for a while but Sheila, Shirley and Bill still send me a Christmas gift every year, so sweet of them. He was Grandad Ken's last remaining sibling which is so sad for Grandad. 8 Brothers & Sisters and he's the last one standing. I am glad Bill passed on peacefully in his sleep, with no pain and that Sheila and Shirley were there with him at the end.

Rest in Peace Uncle Bill :o) You will be missed by all The Green's!