Is it really possible to feel loved and alone at the same time?
How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up! - Classic line from Family Guy.
Anyway, I have pretty much got the best weekend of my life coming up, would you believe it! Waaahoooo! Actually I jest, it'll be the shittiest weekend that's for sure. Pompey will also probably lose which will add to my woe. Isn't it fabulous? I feel like a used piece of chewing gum. Word of advice to anybody in a relationship, you may NEVER assume how one is feeling. Infact you may never assume anything about your 'other one'. Assuming is possibly the worst invention ever to exist. I hate assumptions unless they are less than assumptions and more actual concrete FACT.
When 2 nights of precious sleeping next to one another only come around once every 5 days, you'd assume...AHA never assume! That is all.
So basically my Nan is ill in hospital and it's not the best feeling in the world. I went to see her on my own last week at the hospital,(never assume you will gain 100% support either btw!) and I was totally unprepared for what I would see. It was a mere shell of who my Nanny Ruby used to be. She mostly made no sense and after saying "I'll give you 5 minutes" - (Cheers Nan) she said she wanted me to leave and would prefer it if I wasn't there :( I know my real Nan would never say that to me but I couldn't help getting upset. I hugged her, gave her a kiss and slowly made my way out of the hospital which then lead to me bursting into tears in front of a bunch of strangers walking in to the hospital. I got myself so worked up I got in the car, went to drive off and forgot to pay the car park ticket which in turn made me late to meet Jay. How foolish and forgetful. Bit like me if i'm honest.
I didn't want to see her after this, I will go to see her again soon but I just want to make sure I keep the fresh memories in my head of sitting on the arm of my Nan's chair whilst she holds my feet and I clamber in the cupboard in the living room. I tell you I found all kinds of interesting rubbish in there. I would take stuff out and say "What's this?" I think the most popular answer I got was "No Idea." Haha. I would eat chocolate swiss rolls until I was sick round their house, cheese and brown sauce sandwiches which my Nan would make me in the kitchen, cut into triangles and deliver to me on the sofa. Walking to the actual kitchen would be a milestone for her now, or just knowing what the actual kitchen is. I used to try and make my Grandad watch Casualty on a Saturday night but he'd make me turn it off because he didn't like blood, ha! I'm fairly sure there were some generation game viewings round their house at one time or another. Then off I went up to the put out bed with the cosiest quilt ever to lay there trying to sleep but secretly waiting for Mum and Dad to get in from their nightclub days! Awesome. Those are the best memories of my Nan and Grandad, that and one of my many hamsters deciding to show itself after being lost for almost a week running round the sofa under my Grandad's legs. "Emily, there's something running along the carpet!" "Yes! Found Scratch!" Why I thought 'Scratch' was a good name for a hamster I will never know. Lest not forget my favourite thing in their house - The Typewriter. I seriously would love this as a hand me down. I used to go up and play on that thing all the time. God knows what I used it for I wasn't quite the novelist at 5.
It is now I wish for my Nan to be watched by angels. I might not have had quite the same relationship with her as I have been lucky enough to have with my Nanny Mo, but she is a very special grandparent and I love her ever so much. The Green Family is a name to be proud of and she was there a the beginning of my tree as I know it hence not being alive to meet any Green's before them!
THE GREEN'S!
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