If you'll only, if you'll only say yes

Being alone is not fun.

I've been okay the past few weeks and the strain of a serious relationship at my age always seems to be something that bothers me. Then there's the other end of the scale where i've got zero interest from anyone.

So basically, it's a bit shit being without someone to have cuddles with, to travel with, to watch trashy movies and eat doritos & dip with, to see live music with.....asfrrekfdvnkfvg;/

Too many bad things have happened, I keep telling myself I didn't but the more I think about it the more I think I wasted 4 years of my life being with Dave. I couldn't ever see that ending and then it just, did. So basically from when I was 15 to 20 I had a boyfriend and god knows what I missed out on. Then there were a few people which are probably not even worth counting and Adam. I had such a strong feeling about Adam and I when we first got together and even though it was only 8 months or something I didn't expect that to end so soon. Then we've got now, i'm 21, I have a reasonably good job which I should be able to save money with but alas that doesn't seem to be going anywhere at the moment and that's it really. All my friends have boyfriends, are broke, have children or already live with others so if I moved out: - who the hell would I live with? My life is pretty much at a stand still and I need something to completely blow that out of the water. I thought I found that, but that's becoming more and more of a doubt :(

I'm hoping Reading will go well and I won't be left to my own devices all weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing Lauren and possibly making some new friends. Then Tuesday will arrive and i'll be off to Turkey for some proper relaxation. Although before then I have to prepare my stuff at work for F-run and that will be a mission and a half. I don't want to come back to a million credits and god knows what else. I trust Claire wholeheartedly with my work so i'm not worried there, just slightly worried a ton of stuff with flow through and nobody will notice, then we'll be in a rather massive pickle. Fingers crossed.

I'm off to watch 'The Perfect Vagina' - should be interesting if nothing else. Who in the right mind would have SURGERY on their Vagina? Some bloke just said "If you're having sex for the first time with a woman and she's got an ugly fanny, nah sorry mate as if" - HELLO?! Since when are lady bits attractive?! They're all pretty ugly in my opinion. Who spends that much time looking at it anyway? I should really stop talking about Vaginas.